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If you are in immediate need of assistance with a stalker go to Pyramid of personal safety, Five Stages of Violent Crime  and the Stalking Solutions pages to get some basic tips on how to protect yourself. If you think a situation might be heading towards stalking read the profile of potential rapists, abusers and stalkers. Contact the police, get a lawyer, get a restraining order and get in contact with the local women’s crisis center for immediate help.

Stalkers and domestic violence abusers rely on two main components.

First isolating and confusing people with their earlier behavior.

Second, people not being willing to go as far as they will.

They will twist and turn the insides of your mind until you don’t know which way is up and when you try to reassert yourself in order to get your life back, or displease them in any way, they will punish you.

A punishment nobody deserves, regardless of what they may have convinced you.

Stranger stalkers and violent neighbors
Basically there are two kinds of stalkers. One is the nutcase that you just happened to cross somehow. Often these kind of crazies will react so strongly over a minor or imagined incident that it can become life threatening. When you encounter a reaction that is way out of proportion to the event, your best advice is to back away immediately. You do not wish to engage these kinds of people. In most situations avoiding getting involved in dangerous situations  is not as difficult as most people think it is. Self-defense is a very simple issue, that is until emotion and pride get mixed into the equation.  Simply backing away before it goes too far is, by far, the safest strategy. Do not try to tell him off, get the last word or tell him what a jerk you think he is, such behavior will usually just paint a target on your chest. You’re dealing with a nut case, what you want to do is de-escalate the situation, not give him an excuse to go off on you.

If someone is enough of a mad dog to want to contest you over your right to be on a certain street corner, let him have it.  The world is a big place, you don’t have to be on that street corner. What you need to recognize is such a person is enough of a fruit-loop to think that a such a small incident is indeed a matter of life and death. That is a person is so twisted out of shape and angry with the world that you are just another target to him. Someone to vent his anger on and prove his power. There is nothing the average person can say to such a person that will have any effect except to encourage further bad behavior, bad behavior that can — and will — escalate if you try to handle it yourself instead of beating a hasty retreat.

Such a person will often proceed to stalk and harass you if he can find out where you live or if you are in the area frequently. Fortunately, many of the ways and means to prevent burglary and robbery will keep you safe from such a person until he finds someone else to vent his spleen on. And sooner or later, they always find someone else to harass…especially if you prove to be too tough of a target.

The worst kind of these is when such a person is your neighbor. In all honesty, if you find yourself living next to someone, the best answer is to move. However, that is seldom the answer people want to hear. Quite often such people will engage in unacceptable behavior (e.g. constantly parking a commercial truck in front of your house) and when you attempt to fix the issue, it turns into a confrontation.

Call the police immediately. Do not retreat into your home and hope the issue will go away. These people live for the feud and as far as they are concerned you fired the first shot by being rude enough to complain about their obnoxious behavior. Quite often, their behavior that you tried to discuss with them is illegal and if brought to the attention of the authorities it begins to create a paper trail you can use in your favor. Even better, such people are often engaged in domestic disputes, so have no hesitation about calling the police if you hear a domestic disturbance occurring. Establishing a police knowledge of these people is import because what will often happen is that they will start to stalk you and vandalize your property. Remember such people live by the feud and have no compunction about destroying your property in revenge for the perceived wrong you have done to them. Once again, many of the same tactics that work to prevent property crime work to warn away such people. Consult the police for tips to help protect your property from vandalism as well as tips that you can do to assist them in making a case against your neighbor in the event of vandalism. Finally, get an attorney. Don’t be afraid to sue, because they certainly won’t be.

In many ways, dealing with the threat of these kinds of stalkers is much easier than dealing with the other kind. That is the abuse and/or stalking by an intimate or ex intimate. Quite often the kind of people who do these act are one in the same, but if you think it is dangerous and complicated dealing with an annoying neighbor, it is far worse being involved with such a person or having broken up with one.

A law unto themselves
A fundamental point, that both defines the problem and you must never forget is: Stalkers/Abusers think of themselves as laws unto themselves.

That is to say that no laws, no social standards, no standards of behavior and no motivation other than “themselves” dictate their actions. As such, what would deter a normal person won’t even phase them. Normal “laws” of conduct are like cobwebs to them, nothing more than minor inconveniences, not something that stops them from getting what they want.. Their wants, their feelings, their emotions, their needs and — most deadly of all — their pride are the only law they follow. In fact, to them, it is the only law that exists and they will go to no ends to enforce that law. If such a person cannot manipulate you, then they will beat you…and then they’ll make you feel guilty for it.

In their own childish minds, they are gods upon this earth and no mortal (you) has the right to deny or hurt them.

Unfortunately, as they consider themselves laws unto themselves, what they consider denying or hurtful, is unpredictable. On the receiving end of their behavior it seems that almost anything can set them off. To someone outside their spells and/or someone who is not emotionally dependant on them, their behaviors are obviously wrong and manipulative.

Selfishness, charm and the monster within
Recognize that you are dealing with a selfishness that borders on pathology. Everything they do is oriented on themselves, their gain and their control over you.  And if they feel that they have ever lost that control over you, then they will go to almost any lengths to get it back. We say almost any lengths, because while they can be stopped short of killing you, you cannot do it alone. What you must realize is that the stalking/abuse is just another form of control over you.

Control comes in many different forms. Such people know how to turn on the charm to convince people that they are not the monsters they really are. After all, they convinced you. This is one of their major weapons and sources of power. When they want something, they can be the height of charm, caring and sensitivity. They can be romantic, knowledgeable, strong and heroic. Basically it’s a “glamour” they cast. These people, although so charming, thoughtful and caring at first, do not change into monsters. Like vampires they were monsters all along, but were able to beguile and win your trust before they revealed their true nature. They slowly drew you into their web. As long as you accept them as living gods on earth and cater to their every whim, then you will never see this monster revealed.

These people have years of experience manipulating people and using violence to get their way by picking and choosing their victims. Not only have their successes given them the impression that they can get away with it, but they have learned from their failures. And each time have become more cunning and adept at what they do.

Handling the problem yourself
When it comes to stalkers the most important rule you need to remember is:

DON’T Try to handle it yourself

This is THE most common mistake women make when it comes to stalkers. Bottomline here, if the guy
a) didn’t already know he could take you
b) was afraid of you and what you can do, and
c) wasn’t pretty sure he could get away with it –

HE WOULDN’T BE DOING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!

While it is terrifying to believe so, such a person has been studying you like an insect. He knows your strengths, weaknesses, blind-spots, emotional reactions and what lengths you are willing to go to better than you do.  That is because he has been studying you, testing you and training you like a dog to react a certain way. And that is no exaggeration, such people are expert manipulators and usually have a long time dealing with you before the problems became this severe. You are playing against a stacked deck already. No matter how confident, self-assured or competent you think yourself, realize that he knows your strengths and weaknesses before hand and is building his strategy around that knowledge. You have been the victim of a prolonged interview that is now escalating.

If he even thought you had what it takes to wait in the shadows near his front door with a shotgun he wouldn’t be doing it. Not that we are recommending this course of action, but stalkers do know who not to mess with).

In fact, women who are generally competent and professional in their lives are MORE likely to be stalked! That is because while they are competent and confident in “civilized” dealings with men, this is a situation where the normal social conventions (which provide a significant leveling influence) simply don’t exist. Being suddenly cast adrift in shark infested waters is frustrating, terrifying and unknown. And that is exactly what he wants you to feel.

Remember stalkers think of themselves as “laws unto themselves.” In order to maintain this delusion they need to operate in isolation. That is to say they need to find people who are too proud to ask for help and will foolishly attempt to handle the problem by themselves. It is the woman’s pride, confidence in herself and her abilities — and her shame for “finding myself in such a stupid situation” that keeps her from immediately seeking outside help.

And those are the very things the stalker is relying on you to do so he can keep on doing what he is doing.

That is why you need to call in the cavalry and as much reinforcements as you can. And that means, police, lawyers, friends and neighbors. Also realize that this situation is going to cost you…self-defense courses, guns and training, lawyers, court fees and possibly moving and changing jobs.

There is no easy answer to this problem. It’s a long time coming and it will be a long time going.

Should I leave him?
We are often asked this question from women who are in abusive relationships. They come to us with tails of violence, emotional, mental and verbal abuse and yet are not sure if it really is that bad.

Our advice is simple…if you even have to ask the question, the answer is yes.

If he’s hit you, it’s bad enough. If he’s ever beaten you, it’s abuse. If he’s ever put you in the hospital, there is no debate, argument or excuse, it is abuse and you need to get out of there.

But don’t take our word for it. Go to either a local women’s crisis center, free clinic, social services, domestic violence hotline, community counselor or the police, explain the current situation and ask them if it an abusive relationship.

Leaving an abusive relationship is not easy, this is why we heartily recommend getting in contact with the local women’s crisis center, abuse counselor and enlist their aid. It will take a lot of work on your part, but there is no excuse for maintaining an abusive relationship.

Handling police and lawyers
**Warning**Dealing with police and lawyers can be extremely frustrating. If you are being stalked your best defense AND aid is documentation. Caller IDs and recording of harassing phone calls (you can purchase telephone handsets with tape recorders in them) video tapes, audio tapes, logs and records of events, etc., etc., are legal requirements for prosecution. If you don’t have them, no matter how severely you are being stalked there is no solid basis for legal resources. Restraining orders, stalking charges (which most states have laws about) and litigation work better with documentation.

Contact the police ASAP and

DO NOT ALLOW THE POLICE *NOT* TO WRITE A REPORT

The police are busy…and like busy people anywhere, they really don’t want to increase their work load. And in truth, most situations do resolve themselves without police involvement. However, if the situation does escalate you NEED a paper trail. That is why you need to insist on a written report. Do not expect the police to do the “investigation” for you, present them with a package of proof that a crime is occurring.

Stalking Solutions
Here are nuts-and-bolts steps you can take to help stop stalking

Building a Safe Room
For well under $500 you can build a room in your home that in case someone does break-in you can flee to and remain safe until the police arrive. Building a Safe Room is cheap, easy and can be done in a day.

Getting your bearings back
A book we highly recommend you read if you think you are involved with, are dealing with or have dealt with a stalker or a domestic violence situation is Albert Bernstein’s Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People drain you dry

As we mentioned these kinds of people tend to isolate and befuddle you with their manipulations, tricks and violence. Reading this book, especially the Paranoid section will really reveal the patterns, manipulation and hypnosis that you undergo when dealing with these kinds of people. Although this book is written by a psychologist, it is written in an easy to read, fun and easily understandable manner that describes so many of the kinds of people who bring misery into your life.

In addition, while in the United States you can just pick up a phone book and immediately find resources to help with domestic violence and abuse, that is often not so easy in other countries. Andrew Vachss, author and attorney has this wonderful international/cultural women’s resources page

It ain’t no fantasy out there, stud.

If you wonder if “what you know will keep you alive in a streetfight,” then the answer is “no.” The life on the Street is a short, brutal nasty way of living that usually ends up with the so-called “streetfighter” being a corpse in an alley. And that is what happens to people who spent their entire lives being violent.

Consider them … professionals. That is to say not only are their entire lives dedicated to it, but crime and violence is how they make their living.

Wanna guess what the chances of survival of someone has who goes to a training hall once or twice a week and seminars on weekends when he finds himself facing a dangerous and violent street rat?

Being a streetfighter isn’t about swaggering into a local blue-collar watering hole and eyeballing a bunch of working Joes (most of whom had a hard day at work and just want to drink their beer).  It definitely isn’t about punching out one of those guys who takes umbrage at your rude behavior. But that’s what so many Internet warriors are training for.

In their little fantasy clouded minds they think training to fight with a construction worker in a bar is the same as being the able to survive against the monsters that prowl the streets(1). They have no clue that violence comes in many different flavors and levels — each calling for some other response than what their training prepares them for.

What wannabe tough guys and so-called “street fighting experts” don’t want to accept is that prowess in fighting has very little to do with street violence. Much less the rules of the street. But breaking them is the fastest and best way to get your brains blown into a fine pink mist. That’s because the guys who will kill you for breaking those rules aren’t interested in fighting and they won’t give you a chance to prove how good you are at it.

Those in ‘The Life,’ who don’t end up dead in an alley have something else going for them. Survival on the street is about a whole lot more than physical prowess or fighting skills. People who live with constant violence are cunning, vicious, dangerous and most importantly, they cheat. They don’t want to “fight” you, in fact, they’d prefer to either shoot you or bust a bottle over your head from behind. You don’t ‘fight’ empty handed … in that world, empty hands are used to beat your women. If the guy’s a threat you reach for a weapon. If he’s a serious threat, you shoot him in the back.

This is NOT the same thing as the much touted “there aren’t any rules in a streetfight” B.S. that Internet warriors like to parrot. The “streets” have rules, just like any other place where human beings get together and interact. And you break or ignore these rules at your own peril. Unlike in civilized circles, here people take matters into their own hands.

Where I am coming from
Louis L’amour once said “Adventure ain’t nothing but a romantic name for trouble. It’s great reading about in the comfort of you arm chair, but it’s pure hell when it comes at you in a dark and lonely place.”
He’s right I’ve walked out of those dark and lonely places and I’ve buried a lot of friends who didn’t make it. Some of them who were better at violence than me. So don’t expect me to blow sunshine and smoke up your ass about making you into a great streetfighter.

Kinds of Violence
Despite all their talk about how dangerous street violence is most people in the RBSD/martial arts world don’t have a clue about how or why violence happens. In fact, the who ones who natter on the loudest about the ‘realities of street fighting’ are generally talking about a high school fight on steroids. Before you even think of unleashing your deadly fighting system on someone you might want to learn about the kinds of violence — and why assuming any incident is a matter of life or death will get you in trouble.

Realities of street fighting, violence and life in the streets
Most of the people who claim to be able to tell you about what’s involved in real violence or street fights are like virgins trying to convince you they know everything there is to know about sex because they watch a lot of porn.  These guys have no clue what life on the street is like, much less how people from that hellhole fight.

REAL Fighting
The term “real fight” has become endemic in MA/SD/RBSD circles. It is bandied around as both as a badge of honor (“we train in real fighting”), a mythical ideal (“In a real fight, I’d…”) and as boogey man (“That wouldn’t work in a real fight”). Fact is, there is no term that makes me want to reach for the puke bucket faster. It is an idiotic misconception that has been marketed so fiercely that the lie has been accepted as the truth. Take a look at why real fighting isn’t real.

Respect
One of the most bandied about and yet most poorly understood words when it comes to this subject is respect. It’s not what you think it is and it isn’t coming from a very smart place.

“Traditional” martial arts vs. “REAL” fighting
I have a serious problem with the argument over “traditional martial arts vs. “real” fighting. It’s subset of “what works in a real street fight?”  Be warned, this page BBQs the “sacred cows” of both camps.

Is (Fill in ultimate fighting style) good for self-defense?
Before you even ask this question you had better know some realities about the bullshit terms and ideas that are being peddled out there regarding fighting. And what kind of trouble all these “ultimate fighting systems” will get you into if you don’t use your head for something other than a punching bag. If you don’t know a few fundamental differences you’ll end up dead, crippled, sued or in prison.

Brutal reality vs. macho myth
Start by accepting the fact, that at least 50 percent of the people who engage in fighting lose. The savage truth is that you are not going to be fighting someone who will fold in shock and pain from your super-secret-kung-fu -dim-mak-death strike. He’s been hit and hurt before and knows how to still keep on functioning. What’s more, you’ll be fighting someone with something up his sleeve that will cause you serious damage if he uses it and he does know how to use it.

Do I have what it takes?
While there is always the concern: Do I have what it takes? That is absolutely the last question where you want to find out that the answer is no.

Attracting bullies’ attention
Have you ever wondered why bullies pick on some people but ignore others? There is an entire complex set of behaviors and signals that are going back and forth. Unfortunately, many people who think that they are showing the bully why the bully should leave them alone are sending an entirely different message. A message that instead of warning him away, attracts the bully over to get in your face.

Professional vs. Amateur Knifers
What are the difference ‘ways’ you will be attacked with a knife? Clearing up an unfortunate choice of words about how a ‘professional’ and an ‘amateur’ will attack you with a knife.

Fantasy self-defense
There is a great tendency for instructors of the martial arts to promote themselves as competent to teach self-defense. Find out why that is not necessarily true and why you are risking your life if you accept what they are saying without carefully looking into the subject beyond their simplistic fantasies about self-defense.

Legal realities
Contrary to what many ultra-studly martial artists tell you, a fight doesn’t end when the body hits the floor. That isn’t true with self-defense, and it definitely isn’t true if you were involved in starting the fight in the first place. You will be facing police, legal repercussions and probably jail.

Monkey Brain
We humans have — as a default setting — primate behaviors guiding our actions in conflict. While these patterns are not inescapable, if you don’t know about how your brain is wired your monkey brain is going to be driving the bus. And monkeys make bad drivers.

Being tough = having leprosy
Contrary to what many young and inexperienced people might think — being “tough” doesn’t solve your self-confidence problems, make you feel better about yourself, impress people, make you more popular, prevent you from being picked on or get you laid more often. In fact, it tends to do just the opposite. Instead of lessening your problems, it makes them worse. It makes you more of a social outcast. And on top of that, you also have people trying to kill you.

Realities of streetfighting
It isn’t glamorous. It isn’t fun. And if you put yourself into situations where you are having to face real streetfighters, it means you are being an asshole yourself. That’s right — to be a streetfighter, you have to become the very thing you hate.

Repercussions of “Winning”
Contrary to what you may think a fight doesn’t end with a body hitting the floor. That’s usually only the beginning of the repercussions your victory will bring you.

So you still want to be a streetfighter?
Ted Truscott, “The Fighting Old Man,” has an excellent Web page about some of the other “realities.” This is especially important for anybody who still thinks that being wild child or a streetfighter is a good idea.

Teach you to be tough?
Unfortunately, there are many martial artists who — for lots of money — claim to be able to teach you how to be an undefeatable, toughman, streetfighter. The simple truth is most of these programs are just glorified martial sports programs. That is if they aren’t a cult.

What does it mean to be tough?
The idea that the martial arts can make you tough is erroneous. Being tough isn’t about fighting. It is about being able to handle whatever life throws at you and keep on going. And what life is going to throw at you will be far worse than an imagined bad guy.

Pirates and self-defense training
Unfortunately much of the information that you will receive from most people claiming to be able to teach you how to streetfight, has been pirated. That is to say it has been lifted from somewhere else, not entirely understood and then repackaged and sold to you as the TRUTH(tm) about streetfighting. It will get you killed. Learn how to spot pirates before you become a victim of them.

What do you want from this training?
If you have a hole inside of yourself, this kind of training won’t fill it. If you are thinking that by learning how to be an ultimate bad ass street fighter will cure you of low self-esteem, fear or the belief of your cowardice you’re not only going to be sorely disappointed, but you’re going to waste a lot of money too. Let’s take a look at what this kind of training doesn’t solve.

Reality Based Combat Cults
Although cults in the martial art world are bad, they abound among the streetfighting crowd. These cults offer the promise of the ultimate fighting system, training you to be a street warrior, WWII Close Quarter Combat secrets to use in the street and countless other fantasies to entrance the dissatisfied spirit into their grasp. Cults have some very specific ways of doing business. Compare a group’s behavior against these danger signs.

Technique
Too many “reality based self-defense” advocates (read guys who touch themselves while watching Roadhouse) sneer at technique. They insist what is important is ferocity and physical conditioning. This is like bragging on what a great racecar driver you are when you don’t even have a car — much less a racing car.  They have no idea how ridiculous they look standing there holding a skateboard claiming to be race car drivers. It’s time to take a long hard look at what you think a technique is. What does a technique do, what doesn’t it do? And why bad technique will set you up for a failure that no amount of attitude will save you from..

Why I don’t teach street fighting
One of the more common charges against me by people who’s fantasies I have fouled with this information is that I am secretly saying “come study my ultimate streetfighting system.” Once they assign this ulterior motive to me they dismiss anything that doesn’t sit well with their cute little dreams of becoming an ultimate street warrior.  The fact is I don’t make my money by running an internationally franchised streetfighting program. I make my living selling books/DVDs (my own and other people who I respect) and lecturing on crime avoidance.   There is no Ultimate Animal Street Fighting system lurking in the shadows.  So I’m not tearing others down to sell myself and my fighting style. I’m pointing out legitimate problems with what is being taught; problems that will get you killed. While I do teach and occasionally travel, I don’t teach people how to be a streetfighter, I teach them how to survive against one. Want to know what that looks like?.

Alpha/Beta Behavior
There is a fantasy among wanna-be streetfighters, that some ultimate fighting system will make them an ALPHA MALE! The problem is most people really haven’t thought about what being an alpha really is. So instead of:
1) coming across as an alpha, you’re going to look like a macho parody
2) the situation de-escalating, you’re going to escalate it.

Getting Attacked 101
Believe it or not there is a list of things you can do to get attacked. Unfortunately, in trying to establish control and dominance over a situation or trying to show that you aren’t afraid most people run down the check list of ways to  provoke an attack and do them all. Then they wonder why they were attacked.

Sanity
Let me put this bluntly, the MA/SD/RBSD/WSD/Streetfighting/DT/knife fighting/ combatives ‘world’ attracts some fruit loops. And by this I don’t mean “Man, that dude is crazy” I mean “We the jury find …” insane. Before you stake your life on someone’s information, make sure he isn’t a Barking Moon Bat with a rich fantasy life when he’s off his meds.

Violence Comes in Different Flavors
Many people don’t know what ‘self-defense’ is because they don’t understand there are different kinds of violence. Not only do different kinds of violence have different goals, but your actions have significant influence on whether or not the situation goes physical. If you blindly react to any threat as though it demands you to unleash your self-defense training you are seriously increasing the chances of the situation escalating into the most dangerous kind of violence — an event you may not survive.

Know what to do if you are being Robbed!

Robbery, by definition, is to take something from an individual by direct use of, or threat of, violence. It is “give it up or else.” This is different from theft, which is committed through stealth (i.e. a pickpocket) or when you are not present (i.e. burglary).

It cannot be stressed enough that with robbery the criminal has come prepared to commit violence. There is no “warm up time” for the criminal. When he walks up to you he has already escalated it to the point where using physical violence makes sense to him.

This makes such encounters extremely dangerous from the get go. The victim seldom has a chance to “shift gears” fast enough to effectively defend herself. This is why it is critical for a would-be victim to recognize the developing danger signs of such an attack. And, having done so, take evasive maneuvers BEFORE the attack occurs. A common tactic is for the robber to just walk up and shoot a victim without warning. As the person is laying on the ground screaming in pain, the criminal takes what he wants.

This is why knowledge, awareness and avoidance are your best bets for staying safe from robberies. With these you can prevent yourself from being put into a position where you can be robbed. There is good news, however, the deterrents that successfully prevent a mugging also work against rapes by a stranger.

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Tip #1 For a week, pretend to be a mugger.
Pretend that you are the bad guy and are going to ambush someone. Where would you stand in order to observe people entering and leaving in areas you regularly go? Where could you stand so they approach you or you could approach them without you being seen?

Reason: Criminals seldom actually hide. It takes too long to emerge from a real hiding space. They most often position themselves in locations where they are not immediately seen. For example, many parking structures have areas where people exiting the elevators don’t look. People stepping off the elevator usually look towards their cars, not into a cubbyhole near the elevator. By standing there, criminals can watch a parade of potential victims. These areas are located where they can easily intercept a person or approach from behind. By playing this game, you acquaint yourself with such spots in areas where you regularly go. By being aware of these spots, you also tend to unconsciously check them. If you see someone loitering in such a location, it is a serious danger sign.

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Tip #2 When entering a “fringe area” glance around to see if anyone is about
This especially means looking behind you. By simply glancing around in certain areas you can reduce your chances of being raped or robbed by 90 percent! It takes no more than two seconds when stepping out of an elevator into a parking structure, walking into a parking lot, when approaching an ATM or stepping onto a train platform to assess if there is potential trouble present.

Reason: It lets you see trouble BEFORE it can position itself. If you don’t see anyone, return to your thoughts or the task at hand. You have guaranteed your safety — with no more than a three-second investment. If someone is present, see if they are engaged in normal activities for that area. In a parking lot, a family walking to their car is engaged in normal activity for that area. In that case, return to what you were doing. However, a shady looking individual loitering against the wall is not acting normally for someone in a parking lot. This is a potentially dangerous situation, but unless he begins to move towards you, you are probably safe. If it is a group of loiterers, steer well clear of them or return to where you came from and request an escort.

If an individual or group of such characters begins to move towards you, leave the area. One of the most common forms of robbery, carjacking and kidnap for rape involves the criminal(s) loitering near the mall entrance and following the victim to her car. By just looking behind you as you enter a parking area, you can prevent this by knowing to circle back to the entrance.

Simply stated, this glance allows you to see what is occurring. Very seldom will the criminal be in perfect position to attack you when you enter an area. He must move into better position to attack you. By glancing around you will see him while he is still in this pre-position and take evasive measures before he gets into attack position. If the criminal can successfully position himself he will attack.

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Tip #3 Do NOT walk through (or pass close to) a pack of loitering ‘toughs’
Nearly half of all personal robberies are ‘strongarm’ robberies. That means a group of teenagers surrounds you and demands money or they will physically assault you.

Reason: You are literally walking into the lion’s jaws. The pack mentality is a baby version of the mob mentality, and that is not good. Numbers give the pack members both safety and anonymity. This makes them far more aggressive than normal. They can attack you with little risk to themselves. While this does not sound as bad as being threatened with a weapon, ten people “stomping” you can and will put you into the hospital for months.

Many strongarm robberies are NOT planned. Unfortunately, they are a result of a golden opportunity falling into the pack’s collective lap. This is because someone entering an area where the group is decides not to be intimidated (or decides that they will leave him/her alone) and walks right into the pack’s midst.

Unless you are able to casually gouge out another person’s eye or pull the trigger with calm disregard to the pain and suffering you are causing, you will NOT be able to bluff a pack. So don’t even try to intimidate them or convince them that they would be making a big mistake by “messing” with you. They have the numbers on their side and that means they have more force than you do alone. And if they call your bluff, you will be in some deep trouble.

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Tip # 4 Trust your inner alarms, even if there is no apparent reason.
If you don’t like the ‘vibes’ someone is giving off, don’t let that person approach you. Withdraw from the area and return to “the lights and the noise.”

Reason: Trust your instincts, your unconscious mind has recognized something amiss. If your alarms go off, something set them off, even if you don’t consciously recognize what it is! If something isn’t right, don’t wait to find out exactly what is wrong — by then it will be to late. Your subconscious is picking up “nonverbal leakage”. That is when someone’s body language tells you what is really going on in spite of his words. This part of you recognizes intent.

If you want more proof, watch for him trying to develop the rest of AOI.

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Tip #5 Insist on a buffer of at least five feet against people who set off your internal alarms.
In wide open areas fringe areas, make it fifteen. You have the right to tell someone “that’s close enough” and it is NOT rude.

Reason: No stranger has a legitimate reason to approach you closer than five feet. Part of the interview process is to see if you will allow him to develop positioning. Often the criminal’s approach is hidden behind the guise of asking for something (regular interview). Even if you have the item, LIE! You’re out of cigarettes, you don’t have jumper cables, you don’t know where Park street is, etc. This removes his ‘excuse’ to approach. Insist that the person stay away. If he continues to approach, he has announced his intention, and it is not good.

A common ploy at this stage is to challenge you with the question “why you being so rude?” Do NOT fall for this tactic! It is the criminal testing to see if he can intimidate and confuse you! Usually this is said while the criminal is still advancing. As such he is still closing the distance so he can successfully attack you!

The response of “I’m not being rude, but you have no business coming closer” informs him that you are aware what he is trying to accomplish.

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Tip #6 Never be too proud to retreat or to walk wide of someone.
If you don’t like a situation, it is better to err on the side of caution.

Reason: Most people are victimized not because the criminal is competent, but because they stay in an area where violence could be used against them. Literally, fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Don’t think you will intimidate a lion by sticking your head in its jaws. Nor should you worry about showing the criminal that you are afraid. If the criminal can get close to you in a fringe area, he will be able to successfully use violence.

Another reason people fail to remove themselves from danger is almost exclusive to women, and that is they don’t want to hurt the criminal’s feelings. They don’t wish to insult him by indicating that they don’t trust him. This is just one of the many downsides of Politically Correct thinking. People who subscribe to this kind of thinking do not wish to offer insult or imply to the criminal that they do not trust him because of racial issues.

There is a difference between being racist and being foolish. That’s because there is an even bigger difference between being a violent and dangerous person and being of a certain ethnic origin. Violent and dangerous people come in all colors, races and creeds. Being born into an ethnic group doesn’t automatically mean a person is violent. Nor however does it automatically mean that the person isn’t violent.

Learn the difference. Once you know the signs of violent, angry people they are easy to spot no matter what race they are.

It makes perfect sense to walk wide of a potentially violent person…and to hell with his feelings. He doesn’t care about your feelings as he is robbing you, raping you or assaulting you. And yes, this does require work on your part. It means you must learn the body language, clothing and behaviors common to violent people. If you don’t then you are going to either be paranoid about everybody who is different than you or suicidally foolish about walking into the lions jaws.

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Tip #7 Watch to see who is watching you.
An integral part of a robbery is the “interview” it is during this time that the criminal selects someone and then decides if he can successfully rob that person.

Reason: Even if you are the most drop-dead gorgeous person on the planet, there are cultural rules as to how long one can acceptably look at you. Too much attention is a danger sign. While many women regularly deal with unwanted attention by looking away and pretending not to notice, this behavior can also set you up for a crime. By turning away from someone, you can also fail to see if he starts approaching you. If someone is paying too much attention, walk wide, but check out of the side of your eye to be sure that he has not decided to follow you.

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Tip #8 Go out of your way to avoid people getting out of cars in parking lots and on the street.
Be careful of cars pulling up next to you and people getting out.

Reason: Many criminals drive to crime scenes, especially carjackings. One drives, the passenger pops out and robs you. Where is it normal to let someone out in a parking lot? Near the door. Seldom do people get out in the middle of a parking lot. While it is possible that the person being let out is going to his car, what are the chances that it is exactly where you are at the moment? When you see a car door open, cut across a lane. If he follows, he is obviously up to no good.

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Tip # 9 Don’t run from danger, run to safety
Firmly entrench the difference in your mind.

Reason: Many people faunch and worry that showing fear will provoke an attack. On the other hand, many make a far worse mistake by insisting on a “no fear” approach. And in doing so, such people refuse to retreat from a dangerous situation. This is a pendulum swing to the other extreme based on piss poor communication by many so-called “experts” on the subject of self-defense who insist on telling people to walk with confidence as though you are heading somewhere.

Having spent a lifetime dealing with violent criminals I can, as a trained professional, firmly state: Violent criminals are dangerous.

Even with years of training and experience these people pose a threat to me. A threat that if I am not always on the ball when confronting them will result in me being injured or killed. And even if I am on top of it, I run the risk of getting hurt. With that in mind, what kind of threat do they pose to you? The answer is: A far greater one.

This is why you need to understand the difference between running and a strategic withdrawal

If you are blindly running from danger, you WILL provoke chase. And unfortunately, the odds are that your pursuers will catch you. That is because you are just running with no specific goal in mind. The path you take will reflect that. When you run like this, there is no reason for your pursuers NOT to chase you. In fact, there is a good chance in your blind panic that you will run into a better, more isolated area – which will increase your chances of being assaulted and/or raped.

If on the other hand, you look at it as a strategic withdrawal to a better position you are less likely to make such a mistake. The best example of ‘running towards safety’ is to head to the police station. Run fiercely to the security guard station. With every step you take, the risk to your pursuers increases. Now, chasing you endangers them. Which brings us to the next point.

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Tip #10 Head for the lights and the noise. If someone tries to follow you, get close or is loitering in an ambush area get to an area where there are people.

Reason: Where you have lights and noise, you have people. Where you have people, you have witnesses and often people who’s job it is to arrest criminals. In a similar vein, if you have a job where you drive home at night, know where the police stations and all-night convenience stores are located. If followed, drive straight to them. Do NOT go home. On foot, go back to an area with people, report the incident and ask for an escort.

Do NOT head for areas of perceived safety that are in facts, traps. These are things that will in fact slow you down, like elevators, stairwells, your car or the door of your home. In parking structures, head for the ramp. In parking lots head back to where you came. In an apartment building the stairs are better than the elevator and anything is better than your door. People are your best source of safety, not things.

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Tip #11 Do NOT allow yourself to be surrounded
There is no danger signal more obvious than being surrounded or criminals “splitting up” as they approach you. If you see this developing LEAVE!

Reason: Once you are surrounded you are trapped. There is very little you can do to prevent from being assaulted and even if you are a martial arts grandmaster, the odds are that you will be overwhelmed and beaten.

Fortunately, once you know the significance of this behavior it is both easy to spot and easy to avoid. It also sends a serious message to the would be robbers that you are aware of what they need in order to successfully rob you and you are not letting them have it. In that message is also the news that there are easier people to rob. People who will not pose as much of a threat as you do if they insist on cornering you.

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Tip #12 If despite all of this, a criminal still gets the drop on you don’t stand there and argue.
Although this sounds asinine, you would be amazed at how common it is. Simply stated, since most people don’t recognize the developing danger, it does literally “jump out of the bushes” to them. Sometimes they stand there in total shock and disbelief (which works well for the mugger, and in fact, usually saves their lives). However, other times the victim’s don’t accurately assess the threat, nor do they have time to shift out of their normal mindset. And that means they try to stand there and argue as though this were just a rude busboy in a restaurant. There is no better way to get shot.

Reason: If you go berserk and physically attack, you might survive, but at a cost. If you run you might survive. If your reaction is to verbally assault him though, he will shoot you. You may have an attitude, but he has one too…and a gun. And when looking down the barrel of one, it is no time to argue.

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Tip #13 NEVER allow yourself to be taken to a secondary location
Most muggers only want your money or valuables, if you give them to him without resistance you will often be fine. However, if a mugger tries to force you into a car or take you to another location, all bets are off.

Reason: Secondary locations are death traps. If you are a woman and you allow yourself to be taken elsewhere the *absolute best* you can hope for is that you will only be raped. Which should tell you how bad it is if being raped is the best that will happen. While there is something like a 3% chance that you won’t be raped, assaulted and/or murdered, this is kidnap. And in the eyes of the law, the only crime worse than kidnap is premeditated murder. The law savagely prosecutes kidnappers anyway so there is no reason for the criminal NOT to rape and kill you.

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Conclusion
Until you are looking down the barrel of a gun, many other things seem far more important. But when you find yourself staring into the gaping chasm that is a gun’s muzzle, you suddenly realize exactly what is, and what is not, important. All of those thoughts, feelings, emotions and confidence that lead you into the trap, suddenly seem very small in comparison to just staying alive.

This is why you must reprioritize many of the issues that will lead you into dangerous situations.

It is a sad truth that most people who are robbed, didn’t have to be. A significant majority of personal robberies could have been easily avoided — had the person taken these simple, non-violent steps. But if the person – for whatever reasons- decides to ignore these basic crime avoidance tips, then he or she is going to walk right into the lion’s jaws.

Carjacking is a relatively new breed as crimes go. Using violence to hijack commercial trucks filled with goods has been around ever since the wheel was invented. While it is pretty safe to assume that the first car was stolen shortly after the automobile was invented, car theft has normally been a nonviolent property crime. Until carjacking came around.

These days, many, if not most, car thefts are committed by organized rings. Stealing cars is big business. In fact, it has become not only interstate, but international — worth billions of dollars a year. It casts a massive shadow that extends from the legitimate (insurance companies, shipping companies and car dealerships) to questionable (shady auto body shops, junkyards and auto parts suppliers) to avowed criminals (gangs, drug- and illegal-alien-running cartels).

Car theft rings often recruit gang members and pay them upwards of $1,000 for what is, in effect, an hour’s “work.” They are sent out to steal a certain type of car. An industrious pack of nonviolent thieves can gather several cars in one day, netting upwards to $10,000 for a days work.

With carjacking, however, acquiring a car becomes just a few seconds of “work” and without telltale signs of break-in.

The 1995 Honda Civic was the most-stolen car during 2004, according to statistics from the National Insurance Crime Bureau.

Of the top 10 most-stolen vehicles, six were Japanese brands. All four domestic vehicles on the list are light trucks, including one minivan. The NICB statistics are based on data from the FBI Uniform Crime Report.

Popularity and longevity have a lot to do with a vehicle’s attractiveness as a theft target. Not only are there more vehicles available to steal, but as cars get older they require parts more frequently, creating demand for parts from stolen cars.

Types of vehicles stolen can vary by the region and state. For example, the 1999 Bombardier Ski-Doo snowmobile was one of the 10 most-stolen vehicles in Maine. In most Midwestern states, cars from Detroit-based manufacturers dominate the most-stolen cars lists with few, if any, foreign cars making the top 10.

Most stolen cars in 2004 included 1995 Honda Civic, 1989 Toyota Camry, 1991 Honda Accord, 1994 Dodge Caravan, 1994 Chevrolet full-size C/K 1500 pickup, 1997 Ford F150 pickup, 2003 Dodge Ram pickup, 1990 Acura Integra, 1988 Toyota pickup, 1991 Nissan Sentra.

Important Points to Know About Carjacking (the Bad News)
Carjacking is a felony offense. In the eyes of the law, it is a violent crime against the person. That makes it not only a felony, but a higher class one. While grand theft auto also is a felony since it is not violent, the sentencing is less severe. A carjacker is risking a far more severe penalty if he is caught than a regular car thief. A person who is stupid, lazy, violent and selfish enough to think that this is an acceptable risk is not going to suddenly start making smart decisions when he has a gun in your face.

You are dealing with a stupid, violent person with a track record of violence. And now is not the time to be a hero.

If you argue or resist a carjacker, the odds are you will be shot.
Like all robbers, the carjacker has come to the situation ready, willing and able to commit violence. While it may seem “it comes out of the blue” to you, the carjacker already has prepared himself to commit violence. You are literally playing against a stacked deck. Everything he needs to commit serious violence is in place at the same time you are surprised and shocked.

Unfortunately, most people have never faced such raw, unbridled violence. They suddenly find themselves dragged out of their normal, everyday parameters of existence and thrown into a strange — and dangerous — alien landscape. It’s a place where none of the rules they are accustomed to apply. An effective strategy to “defend your space” under normal circumstances could in this instant get your brains blown into a fine pink mist.

Your normal defenses are not enough. Words, anger or outrage are insufficient to protect yourself against someone committed to violence. It is nearly impossible for the average citizen to effectively defend himself when confronted in such a wild and unexpected manner. To go instantly from thinking about scheduling the day or what you are going to have for dinner to the killing savagery necessary to overcome an armed opponent is beyond even most trained martial artists. And by the time you could muster enough outrage to effectively defend yourself, the carjacker would have long since pulled the trigger.

Carjackers seldom operate alone.
Although you only may have seen the guy who stuck a gun in your face, chances are that there are more of them around. Car thieves in general and carjackers especially tend to operate in groups. Often a driver will stop, let one of the members out of his car and wait until the vehicle has been stolen. They will then caravan to a drop-off point, and the thief will rejoin his comrades. Working in this manner, a group of thieves can steal many cars in one night and split several thousand dollars.

If something goes wrong with the carjacking attempt (i.e., you miraculously defeat the carjacker in a blaze of kung-fu glory without getting shot) there is a very good chance that his cronies will open fire on you. And unlike the carjacker, the gunmen will not be close enough for you to karate chop him. No matter how good you think your martial prowess may be, you can’t dodge bullets — especially if you are trapped between two parked cars. This same problem applies to any firearm defense you might muster. You can easily find yourself in a firefight after shooting your primary attacker. These are situations where you will be responsible for where your bullets go and any rounds you might fire as the accomplices flee.

If the carjacker gets your purse, as well, now you have identity theft and burglary problems.
It isn’t just the loss of your car that will be the problem, important information and credit cards are often lost in carjackings. This means you have to go through the hassles of canceling credit cards, changing your locks (remember he not only has your address now, but your keys, too) and protecting yourself from identity theft.

This is why you must spot the problem developing in order to save both yourself and your vehicle. If you don’t see it coming, the best you can hope for is to save yourself. And you do that by giving the carjacker what he wants without resistance and escaping with your life.

Important Points to Know About Carjacking (the Good News)
There are two types of carjacking. The most common is when you walk to your car in a parking lot or street. The other is when you are in your car, but momentarily stopped (e.g., at a traffic light, entering traffic from a parking lot or turning).

The really good news is that what works to avoid being carjacked in the first example is the same as what you do to prevent yourself from being robbed. Those basic steps will go miles toward reducing your risk. By adding the following information and minor adjustments specific to carjacking, you can reduce your odds of being victimized even farther.

The other type of carjacking is best foiled by some simple measures.

Tips to Prevent Being Carjacked
What follows are minor additions to the information given on the robbery avoidance tips page. These apply directly to theft of your vehicle. The rarest form of carjacking is where the carjacker runs up to your car when you are stopped at a light, stop sign or parked, opens the door and drags you out. He then jumps in and drives away. For this type of carjacking.

Tip #1 Wear a Seatbelt
Not only can wearing a seatbelt save your life, but it also is a serious deterrent to carjackers.

Reason: A carjacking at a stoplight relies on speed. A carjacker has to open the door, quickly pull the person out of the vehicle, jump in and drive away. Locked doors and seatbelts slow down the process. He cannot gain access and pull you out of the car quickly. A would-be carjacker will see these conditions as he approaches and often abort the process.

Tip #2 When Stopped in Traffic, Leave Enough Room to See the Rear Tires of the Car in Front of You
While it is commonly the first vehicle at a light that gets carjacked, the second car often can be targeted — especially at stop signs and turn lanes where the car in front will be moving shortly. The idea is that by the time the carjacker pulls you out of your car, the car in front will have moved on.

Carjackings from stopped vehicles tend to occur in medium traffic levels. Gridlock is not conducive to a fast get away. Nor is the criminal going to be able to successfully steal your car when you are traveling 45 mph. Therefore, carjackings tend to happen in slow, stop or choke points (e.g., turn lanes, stop signs and driveway exits). These are places where the criminal will have the ability to quickly join other traffic and escape. The same elements that he needs in order to successfully carjack your vehicle can be used to foil his attempt.

Reason: By leaving enough space to see the tires of the car in front of you, you leave yourself room to maneuver. Different cars, SUVs and trucks have different turn radii so there is no hard and fast rule as to what this distance will be. But, generally speaking, being able to see the tires of the car in front of you over the hood of your vehicle should give you enough room.

If someone unexpectedly appears by your car door, you can — with this space — floor the accelerator and escape. There is no legitimate reason for a person to be in this position in the middle of traffic.

Although stopping at this distance can help prevent carjacking, it also is a safe driving practice. It can help keep your car from being pushed into the vehicle in front of you if your auto is rear-ended at a stoplight. It also helps prevent the car in front hitting your vehicle if it rolls back (as occasionally happens with stick shifts and bad drivers). And these kind of traffic accidents are more common than carjackings.

Note: When it comes to carjacking, there is a risk of being shot at this point. Several factors come into play, however. 1) Although many carjackers have guns, many thefts are done by groups or at knife point — especially in places where strict penalties exist for carrying a gun. (Remember, the criminal has to get to where he going to commit the crime. During that time, he is at risk of being stopped by a cop). So you are not always going to be facing a gun. 2) Many criminals are not good shots. The more distance between you and him, the safer you are. 3) It’s hard to shoot straight while dodging out of the way to avoid being run over. Face it, your car is bigger than he is. 4) Modern triage methods have greatly increased your chances of surviving a single gunshot. Now this last one may not sound like much of a comfort, but it is important. Your chances of survival are far less if you are trapped and the criminal shoots you multiple times. Your chances of surviving are much greater if you are shot only once while fleeing. The latter strategy gets you out of range of being shot more than once. Cold comfort we know, but it is a pragmatic and realistic approach to a dangerous subject.

Tip #3 Immediately Lock Your Doors When You Get In Your Car
This is a good habit to get into anyway. It takes no more than a second, and you can proceed to ready yourself for travel in greater safety and at your leisure.

Reason: General Ulysses S. Grant was once asked why he posted a line of cavalry around the camp. It was pointed out that any attack would easily punch through such a thin line. His response, “They buy us time. This way we don’t wake up with the bastards in our tents.” The same idea applies here. A locked door doesn’t necessarily stop a carjacker. But it does prevent you from first learning of his presence when he grabs you and drags you out of your car at knife point.

If you wish, you can make it to your second action after putting keys in the ignition and starting the car. That way, while you put on your seatbelt and adjust your belongings, your car is warming up. This is actually good for your engine since most of the wear and tear occurs when it is started. If instead of immediately putting it into gear and driving, you let it warm up, you will significantly extend the life of your engine. If an emergency arises, you can simply slam the car into gear and escape.

In the presence of a gun, however, we recommend getting out and giving up your car. He can pull the trigger faster than you can put your vehicle in gear and drive away.

Tip #4 Do NOT Open the Door or Roll Down the Window to Talk to Someone.
It is usually a bad sign when someone unexpectedly appears at the side of your car. Like phone calls after 10 p.m., it’s not going to be good news. People who appear unexpectedly usually want something. If you decide to talk to them, do not open the door or roll the window down all the way.

Reason: Although a window won’t stop a bullet, it can stop hands and knives. By only rolling your window down slightly, you prevent an attacker from reaching in, opening your door, snatching items from your person or robbing you at knife point.

You might also want to put the car in gear before you crack the window. If something is amiss, you can accelerate out of danger. If someone tells you something is wrong with your car do not get out and look. Thank them for the information and tell them you will look into it. Then drive away.

Be especially cognizant of such a person grabbing and working your car door handle. There is no legitimate reason for such an action. Actions such as knocking at your window are often used as a cover for this. If you see a criminal trying to work your door handle, immediately put your car in gear and start driving away.

The second — and far more common – form of carjacking, however, is when the thief simply walks up when you are getting into your car and puts a gun in your face. The carjacker then grabs your keys (and possibly your purse), jumps in and drives away. This type of carjacking resembles a typical robbery. Again we stress that most of the same measures that will keep you safe from robbery apply here.

Tip #5 Look Around Before You Put the Key into the Lock
This is the second check to do in a fringe area (the first is when you entered). Most carjackings occur in parking lots, as do many robberies and abductions. It is an excellent strategy to look around before you put yourself into a position where you can be trapped.

It is better still to look around as you approach the car. If a shady character is close by, keep on moving. Do not put yourself in the narrow gap between cars.

Reason: A quick scan will show if you have been followed. Most carjackings occur as you open the car door or are getting ready to drive away. Many people wrongly assume that when they reach their cars, they are safe. Not true. Even if you lock the door, if he has a gund he can shoot through the window. Or he can smash the window and threaten you with a knife. It is far better to spot someone approaching as you near your car than  to try and extract yourself from a situation already gone bad

Tip #6 Have Someone Time You to See How Long It Takes to Get into Your Car, Start It and Drive Away
Many people think of their vehicle as “safety.” But you will not be safe from a criminal on foot until your car is doing about 15 mph. This is why you should never try to reach your car if you think someone is trying to rob you. The time it takes to unlock your car, get in, start it, put it in gear, back out and drive away is too great.

Reason: Even when doing it as quickly as you can, this process is slow. Have someone start timing you at about 10 feet from the vehicle. Signal when you reach 15 mph in the car. Now see how much distance a person can cover in that time. The first time, again start 10 feet from your car and have the person helping you about 20 more feet behind you. That’s 30 feet from your car. You have to unlock the car and get in before the person reaches you. Repeat this, gradually increasing the distance until the person can no longer reach you before you drive away.

If an unsavory character is within that distance and approaching, do not try to get in your car. He is close enough to get to you.

This also is why you always need to look around when you reach your car and again before you try to put the key in the door. Knowing how long it takes will prevent you from making a potentially deadly mistake if there is a carjacker approaching.

Tip #7 If Someone Approaches While You’re Getting into Your Car, MOVE!
Do NOT stand there and watch him approach you: Control the distance by moving away from him.

Carjackers tend to work with partners. This is especially true, when they drive up to you as you are getting into your car. One jumps out and carjacks you while the other speeds away.

Reason A carjacker must close with you to gain control of the situation. Your feet are not nailed to the ground. If someone approaches you, move! Preferably, around the hood of your car, which puts something between you and him; as well as giving you cover in case he starts shooting. But get away from the car door.

Tips #8 Throw Your Car Keys
Your car keys go one way, you go another.

Reason: The criminal now has to choose, you or the car. If he is after your car, then his task is made more difficult because he has to go looking for the keys. If he decides to pursue you, then you know he wasn’t really interested in the car after all. This tells you the extent of your danger and what response is warranted. If he pursues you, he is running away from his escape route — whether that is your car or his friends in another vehicle.

Some might advocate throwing the keys at the criminal — we do not. The reason we advocate throwing your keys away from the criminal is twofold. First, he is not harmed which makes him less likely to shoot. If you hurt him, he now has an investment in hurting you back. Second, if you throw your keys at him then you are giving him your keys. By throwing them away, you increase your chances of his not getting your car.

Tip #9 Get Theft Insurance
Certain cars are more likely to be targeted. Before you buy a new car, check with the police if that make of car is currently in the “Top 10″ of stolen vehicles.

Reason: Cars are most often stolen for parts. The vehicle is chopped up and sold to body shops. The body shop pays $1,000 on a part that the manufacturer would charge $5,000 for. The shop turns around and charges you the dealer price and mark up. By doing this the shop made an additional $4,000 profit. This particular risk of theft lasts until enough of the car model becomes easily available in the junkyards — where parts can be legally purchased for a reduced price.

If given a choice between filing an insurance claim or getting shot, giving up your car suddenly looks much more appealing.

Tip #10 Get Lojack, On Star or Other Tracking Device
A locating system on your car can do wonders for getting it back before it is chopped up and also can help lower insurance rates with some agencies.

Reason: Stolen cars are often taken to large parking lots and left for a few days. Due to the high number of auto thefts, descriptions of stolen cars only stay on the “hot sheets” for a short time. (Hot sheets are listings and descriptions of newly stolen cars used for quick reference by law enforcement.) On cars that have been “stashed” for a few days, the only way to tell if they have been stolen is to pull them over and “run the numbers.” By simply waiting a few days, thieves greatly reduce their chances of being caught.

If your car has a locating system, however, all it takes is a phone call to have it found. If you make the call fast enough, you can often have the criminal arrested while still in the car.

Having both insurance and this kind of system will do wonders for your willingness to let the criminal have your car. This will lessen the chances of you foolishly trying to resist a carjacker, who gets the drop on you. And cell phones are faster than driving.

Tip #11, If Despite All this Information, a Carjacker Gets the Drop on You, Give Him Your Car Keys
It sounds so stupidly obvious to say this, but the number of people who are killed or wounded by carjackers every year, prove that people do it.

Do NOT attempt to argue, fight or resist someone who has a gun screwed up your nose!

Accept that he won this round and give him your keys.

Reason: The carjacker has come prepared for violence. You, on the other hand, were just getting into your car. It is an incredibly rare person who can flash into committing lethal violence. In fact by the time most people can get over their shock and decide to resist, the criminal has already pulled the trigger.

Even if you could make that mental jump that fast, it only takes a second to pull the trigger. Can you inflict lethal force that fast? That is what it would take to keep you teeth from being blown out of the back of your skull when the criminal has the drop on you.

Furthermore, at that range, the criminal will not just shoot you once, but repeatedly. This is why we suggest — if you lapsed in awareness and personal safety habits and allowed a carjacker to close with you — you just give up your car and accept the fact you have some identity theft, burglary and insurance problems coming your way. Alive with problems is better than dead or in the ICU with a sucking chest wound.

Why Are Carjackings More Dangerous?
While any kind of robbery is dangerous, carjackings take on a particularly nasty twist because the vehicles themselves create walls and limit your options.

In the Five Stages of Violent Crime, the third stage is called “positioning.” This is where the criminal puts himself into position to successfully attack you. One of the types of positioning is cornering/trapping.  That is where the criminal ‘pins’ you between himself and a large object (such as the car). The presence of a car — and often the car door as well — seriously limits your mobility and increases your chances of being trapped. Even in an open parking lot, the presence of four cars can create a “hallway” that makes it easy to shoot you.

This is why you need to remember to flee in front of or behind your car. Do not run down the “hallway” between cars since that leaves you in the line of fire. By cutting in front of your vehicle or another, you put something between you and the criminal. Even if the cars are parked against the wall, there is often room for you to wiggle through. If not, scramble over the car’s hood or trunk.

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Welcome to DefensiveTraining.com!

In order to understand what “self-defense” is, you must first understand what it is not. “Self-defense” is not martial arts training. Nor is it fighting.  It is not getting in touch with your inner rage and channeling it into attacking someone who scared you. It is not simply mastering a set of physical skills (e.g. becoming a kung fu killer ninja or combat shooting expert). Nor is it something you can take a weekend seminar for and then forget until you need it.

In our definition, self-defense is not a *specialized* skill that you only use in one context. In our definition it is part of a much large set of  “life skills.”

These are skills, talents and abilities that you will use in a myriad of ways every day of your life. What’s more, as they are basic “people skills” using them will improve your quality of life. Use them and you will find yourself in far fewer conflicts, you will be more popular, work will be easier and you will get along with people much, much better.

All “self-defense” is is taking these same skill sets and applying them in a slightly different context. To a large degree, they are the same skills with some slight “tweaks.” Properly applied, you will never have to use physical force to protect yourself because you will learn to steer yourself clear from situations where violence is likely.

To give you a slightly different perspective Peyton Quinn, in his excellent book Freedom from Fear, describes it thusly “Self-defense is the art of dealing with predators — exploitive , hostile or abusive people. As we have seen they can be found in any sphere of our lives; in the streets, in the office, at home  and even in intimate relations. Consequently when I use the term ‘self-defense I am not just talking about defending yourself against a person who wants to beat you up, kill, rob or rape you. Even so, do not dismiss the reality that you may be forced to deal with physical violence “  Even though we use ‘self-defense’ differently  than Peyton, the general idea is the same. And that is there is much more to self-defense and personal safety than just physical technique

Child safety is not No Nonsense Self-Defense’s major focus. It is very much a specialized field. The true value of this page lies in the links. These are organizations that specialize in child safety issues.

Having said that, however, there are a few points that you must consider if your child is being bullied or harassed at school. Hand in glove with these are issues you, as a parent, must consider before following anyone’s advice about what to tell your children regarding their safety and how to handle bullies and violence.

Teenagers are encouraged to read both the links and the information on this Web site. Many of the problems they face will be a blend between adult violence and some of the issues discussed here.

Don’t Lie To Your Children
We have an question for you. If someone tells a person something that is patently untrue, but has no intention to deceive, misguide or profit by it — is that person still lying?

For example, is someone, who with honestly and sincerity passes on something a liar told him/her, also a liar?

You may not think so, but your child won’t … especially if what you told him or her, resulted in your child getting beat up or encouraged harassment.

We bring this issue up because often parenting puts you into a position that you must deal with problems that you have no idea about. Usually about subjects that you accepted answers, assumptions and ways of thinking on. And luckily these were never challenged or put to the test. This not an insult, but rather a statement both on the human conditioning and parenting.

And then your child comes to you looking at you for wisdom and advice, because he or she IS having this kind of problem. And the general response is to reply with socially acceptable (and in other circumstances, generally true) homilies and clich?. While in adult society these statements usually make for peaceful co-existence, in the worlds of children, teenagers (and criminals) these same rules are not only not effective, but they actually tend to encourage further bad behavior. Now your child has a bigger problem AND he or she doesn’t consider you a reliable source to go to get help from.

Ted Truscott of “Defend Yourself 101″ has a piece he calls “Lies to Bleed For: Myths Your Parents Taught You” that takes a sobering look at many of the clich? and bad information parents give to children for dealing with bullies. The last thing you want to do is undermine your credibility with your child about ‘coming to you for help.’ Later on the same page, he discusses issue teens need to think about as well.

“Zero Tolerance Policies” AREN’T for Your Child’s Protection
Schools nationwide have adopted “zero tolerance” policies about fighting and bullying. Although the following statement will bring rabid denial from school administrators, simply stated: Zero tolerance policies are for the school’s protection more than your child’s.

The raw truth is if your child is in a bullying/self-defense situation at school, your child is in as much danger of being expelled as the bully. If you keep this idea in mind, you will have a much easier time dealing with the administration and keeping your child safe.

Child Abductions
Although the media tends to go on sprees of reporting “stranger” abduction cases, your child is far less likely to be abducted by a stranger than by estranged family members or family friends. In fact, an overwhelming number of ‘missing children’ are actually taken in custodial disputes.